Your values are the principles that guide your decisions when competing priorities demand a choice. They are the standards by which you judge your own behavior and that of others. They determine what you pursue, what you sacrifice for, and ultimately what kind of life you build.
Yet most people have never explicitly articulated their values. They exist as vague feelings rather than concrete commitments, invoked when convenient but violated when inconvenient. This guide will help you discover, articulate, and align your life with what you truly believe.
Why Values Clarification Matters
When your values are unclear, decision-making becomes arbitrary. You are blown by whatever wind is strongest in the moment—social pressure, immediate gratification, fear of disapproval. But when your values are clear and prioritized, decisions become simpler. You have a framework for evaluation that transcends momentary circumstances.
Discovering Your Values
Step 1: Examine Your Peak Experiences
Recall moments when you felt most alive, most yourself, most fulfilled. What values were being expressed in those moments? Peak experiences reveal values in action.
Step 2: Examine Your Moments of Anger
Anger often signals that a value has been violated. When have you felt righteous anger? What principle was at stake? Your anger reveals what you truly care about.
Step 3: Examine Your Admiration
Who do you admire and why? The qualities you respect in others are qualities you aspire to embody. Your admiration reveals your aspirational values.
Step 4: Examine Your Sacrifices
What have you been willing to sacrifice for? What would you be willing to sacrifice for? Your willingness to sacrifice reveals the hierarchy of your values.
Common Core Values
Consider which of these resonate with you:
- Integrity - Alignment between words and actions
- Excellence - Commitment to quality and high standards
- Compassion - Care for the suffering of others
- Courage - Willingness to face fear for what is right
- Wisdom - Pursuit of understanding and good judgment
- Justice - Commitment to fairness and what is right
- Freedom - Autonomy and self-determination
- Family - Devotion to loved ones
- Growth - Continuous improvement and learning
- Service - Contribution to others
Prioritizing Your Values
Having many values is not the same as having clear values. You must prioritize. When values conflict—as they inevitably will—which takes precedence? Create a ranked list of your top five values. This hierarchy will guide your difficult decisions.
Living Your Values
Values that only exist in your head are merely preferences. True values are expressed in action. For each of your top values, ask: How does this value show up in my daily life? Where am I living this value? Where am I failing to live it?
Then ask: What would change if I fully committed to this value? What would I start doing? What would I stop doing? What decisions would I make differently?
When Values Conflict
Sometimes your values will conflict with each other. Freedom may conflict with security. Career ambition may conflict with family time. Growth may conflict with contentment. These conflicts are not problems to be solved but tensions to be managed. Your prioritized hierarchy helps navigate these conflicts, but wisdom is required for each specific situation.
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